Dear little me,
I’m writing as a 19 year old with a little bit of life experience. I’m sure I’ve still got a lot of learning to do, but I’ve got a bit of advice for you.
You are going to go through school feeling inadequate and unwanted at times. Do not let this tarnish your overall experience. As you will learn in sixth form, there is more to life than people’s pathetic opinions and you’re a hell of a lot better than you believe.
Talking of school: enjoy it. It goes quickly and, as much as you’ll hate sitting through poorly planned Physics lessons and you’ll die of boredom in History, some of the people you get to spend time with are truly inspirational. I’m certain some of them will change the world some day. Learn from these people, they’ll teach you a lot.
And by the way, all the pressure you put on yourself to succeed will work out well for you in the end. Don’t stress.
As you’ve always said, you’re not going to go to university. You’re going to leave sixth form with good A Level results and head straight into an apprenticeship in PR, and you’re going to have to grow up pretty quickly. Don’t forget to take time to breathe. I promise you, you are more capable than you think you are.
When you feel like you can’t cope at the end of sixth form, go to the doctors. They’ll diagnose you with anxiety and they’ll help you to start to feel better. Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to people.
Throughout your life you’ll meet some wonderful human beings who you think will be around forever. They won’t but that’s okay. You’ll quickly learn that not everyone stays. Focus on the ones who do and don’t let the ones who don’t get you down. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
Love life? That’ll be a rocky ride for a few years. Caz is going to give you some great advice – you know you should probably listen to him, but you won’t, you never do.
Reach out when you need to, don’t suffer in silence. You don’t have to deal with anything by yourself. Just make sure you’re talking to the right people. Not everyone is as trustworthy as they seem.
Just before your 19th birthday, you are going to meet someone that will change your life for the better. He’s the greatest thing that will probably ever happen to you. You’re going to have some of the best days with him and he’s going to be there when times are really tough. He is going to save you. He’s going to become your best friend and your partner in crime. He’s going to prove to you that you’ve always been worth more than the way you’ve been treated in the past. He will remind you daily of how loved and cared for you are. Hold on to him and appreciate him every single day. He’s perfect for you.
Read lots, write as much as possible and take as many photos as you can. Time goes pretty quickly and before you know it, you’ll be me.
All my love,
A few weeks ago, while on the phone to Ben, I decided to book a couple of days annual leave and spend an extended Valentine’s weekend with him.Understandably, Valentine’s Day is dreaded by singles across the country. Loved up couples everywhere you turn? Extortionate restaurant prices? PDAs? Valentine’s Day is, perhaps, the least appealing time of the year for some. This year, it was our turn to participate in, what many describe as an over-commercialised and over-hyped day of the year that is totally unnecessary, for the very first time.
A couple of days before the beginning of our weekend, while sitting in a meeting at work, a delivery arrived for me. Physically shaking with excitement, I was handed the most beautiful bouquet of white roses and orange lilies.
It was the most well-timed and perfectly executed surprise I’ve ever received. With a smile plastered across my face, the rest of my Wednesday at work seemed a whole lot brighter.
Our actual weekend began on Thursday evening and included lots of: eating, sleeping, drinking wine, watching The Inbetweeners, laughing at each other’s bad jokes and tickle fights.
Saturday 13th marked us being together for two months. It was lovely being able to spend the day as a couple – just the two of us. We shared a delicious bottle of Prosecco in the comfort of Ben’s kitchen and ate a delicious lasagne. All that was missing was a couple of candles and some slow music and it almost could’ve been like the movies suggest it should be.
Valentine’s Day arrived and what could’ve been more exciting than waking up and opening presents. I’d been so excited to give Ben his, and I think he’d been equally excited to give me mine. Next to a pile of wrapping paper, and some beautifully thoughtful gifts, Ben and I spent most of the day chilling in bed watching Misfits. I’ve watched the series several times before but love it more and more every time, it’s definitely one of my favourites.Interrupted only by the fire alarm in the middle of the afternoon, it was lovely to spend the day snuggled next to him. If I could’ve frozen time and stayed in that moment forever, I would’ve done. Later that evening, on return from a delicious meal at Posillipo and after a couple of glasses of wine, I got to thinking how lucky I am. I’ve never been in a relationship where I’ve felt so loved, cared for and respected. It’s a really nice feeling. I know that some people aren’t as fortunate as me and don’t find ‘the one’ but I truly believe I have. In such a short space of time, Ben has taught me so many things about myself and has treated me like a Princess. He gives me new reasons to fall in love with him every single day.
The first post to a blog is always a bit awkward so to break the ice:
I am very fortunate to be in a beautiful little relationship with my best friend and partner in crime, Ben. I’m sure he’ll be featuring a lot here.
This isn’t my first blog, in fact I’ve had several over the years, but this is the one that I’m determined will be something I’m truly proud of. I needed a completely fresh start and that is exactly what this little slice of the internet is giving me.
Writing is one of my passions (hence the career path) so I feel like it’ll be a nice idea to start blogging properly.
This blog is going to feature lots of posts about various aspects of my life: my thoughts, feelings, opinions and experiences.